Procrastination Is Not Laziness — It is a Trauma Response
- shangreilasharma
- Jul 8
- 5 min read
Oh! No! It is that time of the year when I wake up to the deadline of filing ITR on the extended dates. It has been on my mind since March’25 and each time I have to collate and insert numbers into the already prepared template and simply press the send button, and this has happened at least five hundred and fifty seven times (so ok, this is exaggerated), I freeze up and find myself doing something more important. Like cleaning the toilet or folding clothes or binge watching NCIS which I have seen a million times before.
I used to think I was just plain lazy but my healing journey has shown me differently.
At some point in life, most of us have been told: “You’re just lazy,” or “You just need to try harder.” But what if I told you that what looks like procrastination or lack of motivation on the surface is often something far deeper — a frozen survival strategy rooted in childhood trauma?
As a trauma-informed psychotherapist, I want to share something important: Procrastination is not a character flaw. It is not a moral failing. It is often a nervous system response — a sign of unresolved developmental trauma.
When the Mind Freezes, It’s Not a Choice
Many of the clients I work with at Aatman Inner Soul come in with shame, guilt, and frustration around their procrastination habits. They say things like:
“I know what I should do, but I can’t make myself do it.”
“I wait till the very last minute, then panic and burn out.”
“I feel paralysed even when I have time, and then I hate myself for wasting it.”
These aren’t signs of laziness — they are echoes of a nervous system overwhelmed long ago, during the most critical stages of emotional and psychological development.
Childhood Trauma and the Dysfunctional Family System
If you grew up in a household that was emotionally unpredictable, unsafe, or invalidating, your brain and body were shaped by stress — not security. This kind of developmental trauma often comes from growing up in dysfunctional families where emotional needs were unmet, boundaries were unclear, and love was conditional.
As children, we don’t have the capacity to understand or process these experiences. So we adapt. We survive — not by thriving, but by shaping ourselves to fit the chaos around us. In that process, many of us develop coping mechanisms that look like perfectionism, people-pleasing, dissociation… and yes, procrastination.
Bessel van der Kolk, in The Body Keeps the Score, shares that trauma is not the story of what happened to you, but what happens inside you as a result. Your body holds on to the memory, and continues to react long after the danger is gone. So, even if your upbringing was normal and uneventful, but you experienced other setbacks (e.g. abusive partners, ragging, unhealthy workplace, etc.) you may also experience this.
The Biology of the Trauma Response: Adrenaline, Cortisol, and Shutdown
Let’s understand what’s really going on inside.
When a child grows up in an environment of chronic stress — where criticism, emotional neglect, or instability is the norm — their nervous system becomes primed for danger. The body starts producing stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol in excess, even when there is no immediate threat. Over time, these stress hormones crowd out the body’s ability fully use it's resources that support focus, creativity, and emotional regulation.
Instead of safety, the brain learns to expect chaos. Instead of rest, the body stays in constant hypervigilance.
Eventually, this leads to a freeze response — the most misunderstood of all trauma responses. While fight and flight are often recognized, freeze is quieter. It looks like brain fog. Like being unable to make decisions. Like endless scrolling. Like knowing you need to reply to that email or submit that form — but feeling completely blocked from doing it. Like time distortions - thinking you have more time than you really do or ‘stretching time.'
Dr. Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory explains this beautifully. When our nervous system doesn't feel safe, it activates dorsal vagal shutdown, leading to immobilization, detachment, and disconnection.
This is not laziness. This is trauma physiology.
Procrastination as the Brain’s “Protective” Freeze
When we procrastinate, it’s not because we don’t care. It’s often because our nervous system is trying to protect us from something it perceives as a threat — even if that threat is just a harmless to-do list.
For a trauma-impacted brain, tasks that involve self-expression, visibility, or even basic executive functioning can trigger a cascade of fear:
What if I fail?
What if I’m judged?
What if I’m not good enough?
These aren’t just thoughts — they’re somatic imprints from a time when failure or criticism might have resulted in emotional withdrawal, punishment, or shame.
The procrastination isn’t laziness. It’s self-protection.
Addiction, Avoidance, and “Busy-Numbing”
To avoid the discomfort of these unconscious fears, many of us develop addictive or avoidant behaviors that provide temporary relief — overworking, emotional eating, scrolling social media, binge-watching, or substance use. These behaviors flood the brain with dopamine and give us a false sense of control or escape. But they also reinforce the cycle of freeze and shame.
Gabor Maté explains this well: many of our so-called bad habits are attempts to regulate pain or fear. Procrastination is not about poor time management. It’s about an overwhelmed system trying to cope.
Every time we cope with avoidant behaviours, we teach our brain: "This is too overwhelming. You can’t handle it." And the nervous system obliges.
How Therapy Can Help You Move Out of Freeze
The good news? Your brain is not broken. It is adaptive. And with the right support, it can relearn safety.
At Aatman Inner Soul, I work with individuals who carry the hidden burdens of childhood trauma (complex PTSD) and want to make meaningful change in their lives. Using trauma-informed therapy, somatic techniques, and compassionate dialogue, I help clients:
Understand their procrastination through a trauma lens
Regulate their nervous system and gently shift out of freeze
Reconnect with self-trust, self-worth, and inner safety
Build healthy daily rhythms without shame or pressure
You don’t need to fix yourself — you need to understand yourself.
And healing begins the moment we name what was never named in your childhood: that your struggle was never about motivation — it was about survival.
Procrastination Recovery Is Possible — But It’s Not Just About Time Management
Often, the world will tell you to try productivity hacks, planners, or accountability partners. These may work for some, but for someone with trauma, they can actually add pressure and increase the freeze response.
What we truly need is gentleness. Safety. The freedom to fail. And a steady hand walking beside us as we unlearn the inner war and rebuild from a place of compassion.
Dr. Judith Herman, a pioneer in trauma therapy, emphasizes the importance of safe relationships in recovery. Healing cannot happen in isolation. It happens in spaces where the body feels safe to rewire and remember it’s no longer in danger.
Healing from trauma is not about doing more — it’s about feeling more. Being more. Trusting more. And that begins in relationship — with yourself, and with a therapist who sees the whole you.
Let’s Begin Your Journey Together
If you resonate with this, you are not alone. You deserve to live free from shame, anxiety, and self-blame. You deserve to be understood — not just treated.
At www.aatmaninnersoul.com, I offer therapy that honours your story and supports your nervous system in returning to balance. Together, we’ll work toward healing the roots of your procrastination — not just its surface symptoms.
Let’s replace shame with curiosity. Let’s meet your procrastination with care. And let’s remind your nervous system that it’s safe now.
You are not lazy. You are healing. And I’m here to support you.
Warm regards / Shangreila
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