Blog 2/3: When SILENCE hurts, and when it can heal

THE LIGHT SIDE OF SILENCE - 10 Ways Silence Can Heal

In the first part of the blog we have explored the shadowed edges of silence, the silence that wounds and isolates, let us gently turn toward its radiant heart. This section is an invitation to honor silence as a sacred sanctuary, a healing balm for our tired bodies and restless minds.

Here, we can begin to unlearn the old, harmful stories we've been told about silence and reclaim it as a source of restoration, presence, and self-connection.

Many of us carry the weight of silence used as punishment, as a way to make us feel unseen, small, or wrong without a single word spoken. Those echoes linger deep in our nervous systems, reminding us of past wounds. I carry those memories too. Yet, healing has revealed a beautiful paradox: the very silence that could fracture us can also restore us. With intention and awareness, silence stops being an act of erasure and becomes a place where we come back to ourselves, whole, integrated, and resourced.

If silence has ever hurt you, it is only natural to fear it. But not all silence is rejection. Not all stillness is punishment. When chosen consciously, silence is a deeply sacred space. It can be a refuge, a doorway to presence and safety. A space where your truth, your voice, and your boundaries gently reawaken.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, reminds us: “The body keeps an accurate score of what has happened to it.” That includes silence. When silence is unsafe, the body tightens in alertness. When silence feels safe, it breathes out, allowing the body and mind to soften.

Through years of trauma-informed work with clients and my own healing journey, I have come to see that silence itself is neither cruel nor kind, it is what we bring to silence that shapes its power. Punishing silence isolates; restorative silence integrates. One breaks connection; the other builds it gently, tenderly, from within.

Let us then explore ten trauma-informed, soul-aligned ways to reclaim silence and find your inner voice again.

1. Silence as Sanctuary Our world is loud, full of endless notifications, accelerating deadlines, and constant interruptions. In such a space, silence is not just quiet; it is refuge. Neuroscience shows that silence lowers cortisol and calms an overworked nervous system. One study even found that two hours of silence daily promotes new brain cell growth in the hippocampus, the center of learning and memory. When the outside world overwhelms you, silence is the home where you can truly be yourself, untouched and welcomed.

   
   

   

   
   

2. Silence in Nature Nature speaks in silence, an ever-present, vibrant stillness shaped by wind, rustling leaves, and birdsong. Rachel Carson wrote, “Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.” Spending time in natural silence helps us tune into a timeless wisdom, grounding us in the vastness beyond our individual stories.

   
   

3. Meditative Silence In meditation, breathwork, or contemplative prayer, silence opens doors to emotions once buried—grief, shame, longing. In these moments, those feelings softly step forward, inviting our curiosity, gentleness, and self-compassion. Healing happens here, where old wounds find a safe space to transform. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, says, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” In silence, we learn to meet the waves within ourselves with grace and courage.

   

   
   

4. Silence in Listening Sometimes, the greatest gift we offer others is our silent, attentive presence. Trauma survivors often fear being unheard or unseen. When we listen without interruption or judgment, our silent witness validates their experience more deeply than words ever could.

   
   

   Parker Palmer beautifully reminds us: “The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed, to be seen, heard, and companioned exactly as it is.” It is in these sacred pauses of silence that healing quietly unfolds.

   
   

5. Silence in Creativity Creativity needs open space to breathe. As musicians know, “Music happens between the notes.” In the silence between sounds, imagination grows. For writers, artists, and dreamers, silence is fertile soil where new ideas take root and blossom.

   
   

6. Silence for Decision-Making In moments of chaos, silence is a compass. When external noise fades, the inner voice can rise. Even brief pauses or silent breaths create space between trigger and response—a sacred gap where healing nervous systems shift from alarm to wisdom. Silence helps us respond with intention, not reaction.

   
   

7. Silence in Relationships In relationships grounded in trust, silence speaks volumes. Sitting in quiet comfort with someone, without needing to fill the space, builds bonds that heal attachment wounds. Chosen together, silence is a language of love and attunement, telling each other, “I am here, fully present.”

   
   

   

8. Silence as Protest Silence can also roar. In social justice movements, silent vigils and sit-ins resound with power, carrying messages words cannot fully express. Silence becomes protest, presence, and transformation.

   
   

9. Sacred Silence Across spiritual traditions, whether the desert fathers of Christianity, the Buddhist noble silence, or the yogic practice of mauna, silence is honored as a path to the divine. In silence, words fall away, making space for something much larger to be known. Healing is not only psychological but deeply spiritual.

   
   

   To borrow the words of Rumi: “Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation.” May we learn to listen deeply to this sacred silence and find ourselves restored, connected, and whole.

   

   
   

10. Silence as Integration After therapy, ritual, or journaling, silence serves as the bridge between insight and embodiment. Without it, healing stays abstract; with it, knowledge becomes wisdom, and wounds become stories that no longer define us.

    
    

Using silence to heal (Maun) is a lifelong practice and a courageous choice. As Alice Miller reminds us, “Silence is the deep wound of childhood trauma, but it can also be the place of deep healing if received with compassion.”

Thich Nhat Hanh teaches: “Silence is not empty, it is full of answers.” For those who have known silence as fear or rejection, there is hope. There is transformation. There is healing.

If you feel called to share your story or seek further support in reclaiming your voice, I warmly invite you to reach out to me at aatman.innersoul@gmail.com.

In Part III, we will explore practical ways to transform the silence that wounds and to heal the years of being silenced.

With warmth and presence

Shangreila

All pictures generated with AI / free stock pics