Modern Life Is Making Women Sick — and What We Can Do About It

Ertha Neha
1 day ago
4 min read

"Often, your mind is the most dangerous place to be. Too many memories, too many land mines." - Shangreila Sharma — "Often, your mind is the most dangerous place to be. Too many memories, too many land mines." - *Shangreila Sharma*

Last week, I shared my thoughts on the theme for the International Day of Action for Women’s Health 2025 — "In Solidarity We Resist: Our Fight, Our Right!"

One subject that's very close to my well-being is the deep link between mental and physical health. Most of the world now recognizes the psychosomatic nature of illness — how our thoughts, traumas, and emotional pain manifest in the body.

As gender roles continue to shift and correct, women have had to take on multiple responsibilities — especially in forming and caring for families. While there are some single fathers, single mothers far outnumber them. We are now seeing women choosing financial independence and career stability over traditional roles like early motherhood, but are their choices accepted by society?

In today’s fast-paced world, women are juggling many roles — caregiver, professional, partner, friend — often at the cost of their own health. This relentless demand for perfection and selflessness isn’t just mentally exhausting — it’s causing real physical breakdowns.

The Invisible Load Women Carry

From raising children and running homes to climbing corporate ladders, women are expected to sacrifice their needs and not even think about their wants.

Women are expected to fulfill all the roles assigned to them by society. It only leads to a feeling of failure.

This pressure causes many to suppress emotions and ignore their own pain — something psychologist Dana Jack calls self-silencing (link below). Her research shows that this directly increases the risk of depression, autoimmune conditions, and chronic stress-related illness.

Dr. Gabor Maté, in When the Body Says No, writes extensively about how chronic stress and emotional repression can lead to real diseases — including cancer and autoimmunity. Women, he explains, are especially vulnerable because of how society encourages us to be endlessly giving and quietly strong.

My Story: Healing the Mind to Heal the Body

I’ve lived this. Both as a survivor of childhood trauma and as a psychotherapist, I’ve seen how unhealed emotional wounds can turn into physical ailments.

In my own case, years of high stress, lack of emotional guidance, and unhealthy coping mechanisms like overeating and workaholism eventually led to arthritis and obesity in my 40s. I began to recognize that my physical health was echoing my inner chaos. I slowly learned to build boundaries, reconnect with my body, and grow a toolkit of scientific and spiritual tools to manage things like emotional eating and waves of deep sadness (I prefer not to use labels like depression or anxiety 😊).

While I can’t undo the arthritis, I’ve learned to slow down, practice body-mind awareness, and prevent further damage by nurturing myself in small, mindful ways.

Many of my clients carry similar burdens. Women who are holding families together, working hard, caring for others — and breaking down inside. I’ve worked with clients struggling with chronic fatigue, migraines, IBS, obesity, and autoimmune conditions — all linked to unprocessed trauma and unrelenting responsibility.

How Childhood Trauma Shapes Women’s Health

Many of the women who come to me for therapy also have high ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) scores. And this matters. ACEs shape not only our mental health but also our immune systems, nervous systems, and long-term well-being. 👉 Take the ACE test here

One of my clients developed severe IBS and social anxiety that got so bad she wore adult diapers to business meetings. Her trauma? Childhood neglect and a current marriage to an alcoholic. She also had two young children and no support system.

There’s a reason people with ACEs often end up choosing partners who resemble their families of origin. That’s a blog post for another day — but it’s all deeply connected.

The Science Behind the Mind-Body Connection

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, in The Body Keeps the Score, shows how trauma literally reshapes the brain and body. Trauma can disrupt hormone function, immune response, digestion, and even memory and attention.

Another favourite of mine, Louise Hay, believed in the power of affirmations and emotional healing to address disease. Her work helped me bridge the gap between modern science and ancient wisdom.

Five Gentle Steps Toward Healing

Slow down. Take time to savour the aroma of your tea, to eat slowly, or just sit without doing anything — not even meditating. Just be.
Feel your feelings. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, sad, angry or tired. Ignoring these emotions only makes the stress louder.
Set boundaries. Say no when you need to. You are allowed to prioritise your health. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Seek support. Therapy, coaching, or just speaking to a safe person can be a game changer.
Connect with your body. Use journaling, yoga, walking, or prayer — whatever helps you hear your inner voice.

You’re Not Alone — And You Don’t Have to Do It All

Women’s health — mental and physical — is deeply intertwined. If we continue to silence our needs, internalise guilt, and wear martyrdom like a badge of honour, we will continue to break down.

As Dr. Gabor Maté reminds us:

“The attempt to escape from pain is what creates more pain.”

So don’t escape. Feel. Rest. Ask for help. Connect.

You don’t have to do it all. You were never meant to.

And if you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone.

👉 Reach out to me here — we can walk the healing path together.

Watch + Learn: Resources That Deepen This Conversation