The body doesn't lie, but it plays tricks at times

It's International Women’s  Health Day on 28th May, 2025

The theme for The International Day of Action for Women’s Health 2025 — "In Solidarity We Resist: Our Fight, Our Right!" — isn’t just a global campaign. For many of us, it’s a personal prayer. A reminder that our fight for sexual and reproductive rights is deeply intertwined with our mental health, our sense of safety, and our capacity to reclaim joy.

Because when your body has been a battleground, healing becomes an act of rebellion.

I was once molested on a crowded Indian train when I was about 15-16 years old and traveling from Jalgaon to Mumbai (then Bombay) to rejoin college after a holiday break. The Punjab Mail made only a brief stop at my station, so I had to climb into the general compartment where I was supposed to make my way to the women’s compartment. 

Bodies were packed like a can of sardines, and through that, a stranger’s hand penetrated my body, through the layers of clothes that I wore, while I stood, pressed among hundreds, unable to move, scream, or even fully comprehend what was happening.

I remember the sensation not just of violation, but of invisibility. I remember questioning my own reality — did this really happen?

It did.

And such violations happened again and again as I navigated adolescence and young adulthood without support and understanding of events that seemed outside my control.

And like many other women, I swallowed the words and the screams, buried the memories of shame, rage, and injustice, and carried on. Never talking about it. But I paid a cost for my silent, forced self-abandonment. 

Years later, in my 40s, in my recovery journey, working through various behavioural issues that I had developed as a coping mechanism, I started peeling back the layers — grief, rage, numbness, confusion. The abuse I had endured, the boundaries crossed, the silence I had forced upon myself — all came flooding in.

I developed (amongst some others) SUD (substance use disorder), GAD (general anxiety disorder) and sexual anorexia — the absence of desire, the fear of touch, distrust of others, and the dissociation from my own mind and body — not as a choice, but as a defense against the unhealed trauma that I endured.

I was tired of being reactive and being scared all the time, living but not really alive.

Healing started when I stopped blaming myself and began listening to myself and others with shared experiences. And I found and took help. 

I once told a friend that if I wrote a book about my body, I’d call it: “Open to the Public, Permanently Closed for Repairs. ”We laughed. And then we cried.

Because humor, too, is healing. Sometimes, it's our only defiance.

I hear many successful women role models say, "The most alluring thing a woman can have is confidence.” (attributed to Beyoncé)

But how do you build confidence in a body that has been constantly trespassed and trampled? How do you carry it safely in a society which sees it as a challenge to be actively subdued and conquered till it is beaten out or held captive behind the labels of being a ‘ideal good wife and mother?’

How do you wear boldness when the world has trained you to shrink and hide?

Molestation, eve-teasing, verbal abuse, cyber stalking — they’re so frequent in our lives that we’ve normalized them. We’ve been told to cover ourselves, carry pepper spray and safety pins, not loud voices. To adjust, not accuse. To move on, not make noise.

But every woman has the right to her full aliveness and expression.

And part of reclaiming that right is allowing ourselves to heal — emotionally, psychologically, spiritually. It can start slowly at a pace one is comfortable with.

• At first, it’s naming what happened — without minimizing, rationalizing, or burying.

• Then, it’s allowing the feelings — the grief, the rage, the confusion — to have space.

• Eventually, it’s building new connections. Reclaiming trust. Exploring safety. Finding our voice — again, and again, until it’s steady, strong and clear.

  
  

It’s not linear. It’s not fast. But it is possible. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Where to Find Help (Resources & Safe Spaces)

If you or someone you know is struggling, here are confidential spaces of safety and solidarity:

💠 National Helpline for Women (India): 181

💠 iCall Psychosocial Helpline: +91 9152987821 (run by Tata Institute of Social Sciences)

There are some self-help 12-Step Fellowships that respect your anonymity and struggles:

• ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families): For adults healing from childhood trauma

• CoDA (Codependents Anonymous): For learning healthy boundaries and relationships

• SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous): For those with unhealthy patterns in love, sex, or fantasy

These groups welcome you without judgment, shame, or exposure. You don’t have to speak. You just have to show up.

And if you’re looking for one-on-one trauma-informed healing, you can reach out to therapists like me — people who understand both the psychology and the soul of your journey. Our work is sacred. And you are never too late to begin.

As we observe this global day of action, let’s commit to more than slogans.

🌸 To support women’s sexual and reproductive rights, we must also support their mental health.

🌸 To fight for bodily autonomy, we must honour the journey of those reclaiming safety within.

🌸 To truly be in solidarity, we must listen. Without judgement. With softness. With belief.

In solidarity, we resist.

In sisterhood, we rise.

In healing, we return home.

Warmly,

Shangreila Sharma